


I hope your day is as nice as your butt

by Destiel_Giggity



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Symptoms, Dean’s internal voice, Destiel - Freeform, Destiel Forever, Flirting, High School, Homophobic John Winchester, Little moose, M/M, Maybe more - Freeform, Probably More - Freeform, Self deprecating Dean, Sexy over the clothes going ons, extreme denial that manifests physically, prompt, there will definitely be more
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-23
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-02-05 21:58:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12803259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destiel_Giggity/pseuds/Destiel_Giggity
Summary: Prompt from the FB group Destiel Forever by Nayna :I need a fic where Cas is openly bi and constantly flirts with the captain of the football team, Dean . Dean always shuts him off and tells him to stop but Cas keeps trying his luck. One day Dean insults Cas infront of the whole school which breaks Castiel’s heart and from that day he just stops. He doesn’t even look at Dean’s way anymore. Dean should be happy about this but it bothers him way too much now and he kinda misses all the flirting even tho he’ll never admit it...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I’m aware I have two WIPs but I couldnt resist this! My other two fics are still in progress - I promise I haven’t abandoned my babies.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter beta’d by Samantha Sykes ❤️

“Captain, my captain, what’s the plan for today?” Castiel Novak’s gravelly voice startled Dean out of his concentration while staring at his playbook.

Dean rolled his eyes, even as his stomach felt warm. “Shut it, Novak.” Dean looked away from bright blue eyes and a smug smile to engage the rest of his team that had gathered on the field for a final practice before the big match against the Demons the following day.

Dean hadn’t been completely sure about accepting the Quarterback position at the start of the year, but now, as the Hunters stand on the cusp of winning the season, he’s feeling a rare moment of pride.

“Alright guys, we nearly have this season in the bag. The last thing we need is for everyone to get cocky or complacent, so let’s do a few laps before going over our main plays.” A collective groan rose up from the team, just as Dean had expected. “Yeah yeah, I’m a hardass, you can all whine and run at the same time.”

“I’d like a run at that hard ass any day," the same gravelly voice said, softly enough that no one but Dean heard.

Dean turned to give Castiel a frown, but instead his body rebelled and he felt blood rush to his cheeks... Just in time to see Cas grin and wink at him before running off to catch up with the rest of the team.

Dean huffed a laugh; Cas had been flirting with Dean all year. All harmless of course, as Cas had a reputation for being charming and flirtatious with everyone. Why he had targeted Dean is anyone’s guess. While Dean had a reputation of his own, it was more along the lines of Dean having dated nearly the whole cheerleading squad in a year.

Cas had definitely become more aggressive with his flirting recently, though. It was no secret that Cas liked both girls and guys, especially if that story about him with both Hester and Balthazar was anything to go by. Dean wouldn’t go as far as saying he enjoyed the flirting, but it didn’t bother him. It was actually funny how ridiculous Cas purposefully made his pick up lines sometimes.

Dean wondered if Cas used the same pick up lines for girls and guys or if he had to change them. An image of Cas both giving it and taking it during a threesome materialized, unbidden, into Dean’s mind, which made his cheeks heat up again.

What the hell was that?

“What’s got ya blushing like a school girl?” Coach Singer asked in his usual gruff voice.

“Uh, nothing...” Dean replied nervously, trying to think of anything but threesomes involving Cas.

Bobby gave him a look of annoyed disbelief, but didn’t push the matter. “How're they looking for the match against the Demons?” Bobby nodded towards the team.

Discussing the team - Dean could do. Dean took pride in how well he knew his team and their abilities, so he explained to Bobby how each team member was doing.

“Have you talked to the Novak kid yet?” Bobby asked while looking for his old pocket watch.

“Me? What? Why?” Dean responded defensively.

“About switching him from full back to running back? We talked about this yesterday, ya idjit.” Bobby smacked Dean over the head with his own playbook - just hard enough to smart, but Dean made it look like it had really hurt.

“Alright Winchester, this isn’t soccer. Just make sure you let Novak and Lafitte know they’re swapping positions," Bobby said as he finally found his pocket watch and opened it one handed.

“Yeah yeah, I’ll talk to them,” Dean said dismissively. He could message Benny later; Cas on the other hand...

“Balls! I’m late for class again.” Bobby chucked the playbook at Dean and stuffed the pocket watch back into his jacket.

“Heh, I still can’t believe Principal Mills convinced you to teach Japanese," Dean grinned.

Bobby glared at him. “Shall we talk about whatever or whoever had you blushin’ before, boy?”

Dean’s eyes widened and he looked down at the ground.

“I thought so," Bobby gruffed. "Keep your head in the game.” As he passed Dean he gently added, “You got this.”

“Thanks, Bobby," Dean replied, equally as soft.

Bobby had only been Coach for a couple of years, but he’d always been Bobby to Dean. Especially during the darker parts of his childhood where his father had been at his most alcoholic. John Winchester had gotten a lot better since then and had even managed to hold down a construction job for a couple of years. Still, Dean felt safer knowing Bobby would always be there to help him and Sam out in the worst scenarios.

The rest of practice went uneventfully. They didn’t go over any plays because the team was incredibly riled up for the final match tomorrow, so Dean let them blow off some steam running laps and other exercises. All the while completely avoiding looking at Cas, who had decided taking off his shirt and running around in tiny soccer shorts was a great idea. Who does this guy think he is?

When practice had finished and the team was heading towards the showers, Dean took the opportunity to stop Cas.

“Hey, Cas?” Dean kept an even tone, not exactly knowing why his palms had gotten a bit sweaty.

"Hey Cap."

“Um, you ok being running back?”

Cas laughed, “That's crazy, Benny and I were just talking about that before. Good tactic, the Demons won’t be expecting it.”

Dean smiled, loving the fact that he was so in tune with his team. “We’re counting on that.”

Castiel lifted an eyebrow. “So I’ll be crowding you tomorrow night then?”

Well this took a turn. This guy could make moldy gravy into a pick up line. “Uh...” Dean replied eloquently.

“Being running back and all?” Cas smiled at Dean, clearly going for casual.

“Oh, uh yeah. I guess.”

Cas took a step forward. “You wanna get some practice in before-"

“Dean?” John Winchester’s voice was such a bucket of cold water over the sound of Cas’ rumbling purr.

Not that Dean needed cold water because Cas’ flirting hadn’t affected him... at all... nope. Not. In. The. Slightest.

“Oh, hey dad. Uh, I’ll see you tomorrow Cas, get some rest tonight - don’t... you know... have an orgy or something.” Dean had no idea why he had said that. So he sprinted over to his dad’s truck.

Castiel gave him a confused smile and saluted him.

Dean felt thoroughly embarrassed by the spectacle he had made of himself. When he reached the car, Dean looked back but Cas was gone.

“Wasn’t that the Novak kid?” John asked with no emotion in his voice.

“Yeah," Dean replied dryly. He wasn’t all too happy with his father for ‘accidentally’ dinging Dean’s beloved Impala. If that hadn’t happened, Dean wouldn’t have needed a ride home and he could have spoken to Cas without an interruption. Not that Dean WANTED to continue the conversation. Did he?

“Isn’t he gay?” John asked in his emotionless voice.

“Who? Oh... Um, I think he’s bi?” Dean replied, trying to keep the conversation casual - John was better but the temper was not the alcohol’s fault, apparently.

“Pfft, that’s just fancy talk for gay," John said dismissively.

Dean cringed internally. “Y’know I could have just gotten a ride from someone."

“Who? That Novak kid?” John asked with his eyebrows raised high up into his forehead.

Dean closed his eyes because great, this was what he needed right now. “Dad...”

John suddenly laughed out loud. “I’m kidding, you’re so sensitive Dean, been spending too much time with Sammy.”

Dean looked out the window just in time to see Cas being hugged by an attractive man. A jolt of something like annoyance went through his body. Strange.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean let’s John’s stern looks get to him.
> 
> Beta’d by Samantha Sykes ❤️

The game was going amazingly. Dean and Cas were a force to be reckoned with on the field, and the team as a whole was like a fine oiled machine.

There was no doubt in Dean’s mind they were going to win, but to be completely honest, Dean was having a lot of fun playing off Cas. I mean yeah, the guy was a smart ass for sure, but Dean had never noticed how effortlessly Cas played... Almost as if he were dancing? Dean shakes himself out of his own thoughts and gets his head back into the game.

As it becomes more evident to everyone else that the Hunters have already won, the Demons start to play DIRTY.

There’s a point where Luke and Dick from the Demons tackle Dean and Cas to the ground with what can only be described as raptor tactics.

Dean falls onto Cas and their helmet guards get wedged together. There’s a split second as Dean is trying to dislodge their helmets that he realises he’s half thrusting into Cas. Dean looks straight into Cas’ eyes and Cas smiles lazily. “Geez, buy me dinner first, Winchester."

A part of Dean wants to laugh because honestly, it’s something he would’ve said in that situation. The other part of him, however, is very much aware that the whole school is watching, so his reaction SHOULD be to pull back.

Dean suddenly feels a pair of strong arms pull him back and the helmets become dislodged with a metallic screech. Benny successfully taking the decision away from Dean.

Dean holds out his hand and pulls Cas up, only to realise his team was running towards them, cheering. It took Dean a moment to realise that they had officially won the game.

The next half hour was filled with cheering and hugs and ass slaps galore. On the way to the changing rooms everyone was talking excitedly about the celebrations happening later when Dean spotted Sam in the crowd waving and cheering all dorkily, as only his brother can.

Next to him, John gives Dean an approving nod, which is probably the best approval his father can give, really. Dean watched on in confusion as his father’s almost happy face quickly turns into a suspicious squint.

Dean turns to look around just in time to see Cas coming up behind him and slapping Dean right on the ass.

Cas starts walking backwards. “I’m going to beat your time at riding the mechanical bull at the Roadhouse tonight, Winchester.” His eyes drift to Dean’s ass as he says the word ‘riding’ and an electric shiver rolls down Dean’s spine.

Before he can even begin to analyze that response, Dean looks up to see his father giving him a murderous glare and Sam giving him the thumbs up for some reason.

Dean tries to shake off his father’s look and what Cas said and tries to be in the moment while the team celebrates.

Everyone is giving ridiculous speeches about teamwork and perseverance and then Cas slings his arm around Dean. “Let us toast to our Captain and quarterback, Dean Winchester, to whom we owe a lot of this season to!" Everyone holds up their water bottles and cheer for Dean, and it makes him feel a little giddy.

Dean suddenly makes eye contact with John, who has just walked into the changing rooms, with Sam and Bobby coming up behind him.

Reacting to the presence of his dad, Dean slaps Cas’ arm away and pushes him back with more force than he meant to. “Alright, settle down Cas. We get it, you like dick, doesn’t mean the rest of us do.” Even as the words leave his mouth, Dean feels sick. They don't feel like his words. They feel like John Winchester’s homophobic regurgitations. Even the force he used to push Cas back with didn’t seem like his own.

Some of the douchier people from the team laugh, everyone else remains awkwardly silent.

His instant guilt is enough to mark that moment down as a shitty one. But then Dean looks over at Cas and sees the exact moment Cas’ smile fades into a frown and his blue eyes squint at Dean, as though he was confused by what he was seeing.

Gordon, the only one still laughing at this point, slaps Cas’ shoulder. "Oh man, Dean’s got your pansy ass down to a T!” He guffaws.

Cas side steps out of Gordon’s reach and gives Dean a final betrayed look before grabbing his duffel bag and walking out past John, Sam, and Bobby.

Dean steps forward to stop him, but John comes up and puts his arm around Dean with enough force that Dean immediately recognises as an order to stay put.

Gordon makes an incredulous noise. “What an emotional freak, that Novak. But I guess it’s to be expected from his sort.”

John laughs and Dean feels like barfing.

Everyone else seems to break off into their own conversations, the mood definitely dampened.

Dean feels sick and gross and why did he even say those things? He likes Cas. He enjoys the guy’s company. He didn’t even really mind that Cas was all touchy. Not really. It always felt... nice. Dean always complained, obviously, because the team would tease him mercilessly if he didn’t. But football teams were always touching and slapping each other; it doesn’t mean anything. It’s a camaraderie thing.

The celebrations move to the Roadhouse, where half the town has turned up to party. Amongst the din, Dean keeps an eye out for Cas, wondering if he was going to keep his promise to beat Dean’s mechanical bull time.

Dean looks over at Larry the Bull, where half the cheerleading team is cheering on Lisa Braeden, who’s riding suggestively while looking directly at Dean.

Dean had dated Lisa for a while, but they’d broken up when she did an exchange to France for a semester. When she had gotten back, Dean had already dated two other cheerleaders and Dean had assumed Lisa hated him.

It’s safe to say the way she was looking at him while undulating her hips - she definitely didn’t hate him. The team started to poke at Dean and make kissy sounds, which made Dean roll his eyes.

He still found Lisa attractive because she is beautiful, but Dean just doesn't have that pull towards her anymore.

The rest of the night passed by in a haze of booze, more cheerleaders flaunting themselves in front of the team, and Dean occasionally thinking he saw Cas.

Dean woke up the next morning feeling like death and with about fifty unread text messages that he ignored in favor of taking a shower.

School was on break for two weeks and he’d promised Sam he'd spend time with him for most of those two weeks, simply because football and school had taken up a lot of Dean’s time this semester.

He wasn’t sure what they were going to do for two weeks, but in the end, it didn't matter because Sam had an itinerary. The dork.

After two weeks of board games, movies, video games, fishing, water gun wars and a variety of other fun stuff, they were playing Risk the Friday before going back to school.

Dean had pretty much ignored everyone’s texts and calls - but he had spoken to Benny a couple times to check in. Apparently he’d missed some raging parties, but it didn’t really bother Dean. There was always a 'best party' around the corner.

“Hey, Dean?”

“Hmm?”

“I thought you and Cas were friends?” Sam asks uncertainly.

Dean’s eyes snap up to his little brothers. “We are. I mean, I... He’s a good guy," he finishes lamely.

“Oh,” is all Sam responds.

Oh god no, Dean assumed Sam hadn’t seen the way he’d treated Castiel, but now he’s not sure. “Why?” Dean asks as casually as he can.

“Um, well... Jess is friends with Kevin because they both take AP math and Kevin used to fix Gabriel’s computer and Kevin said that Gabriel said that you called Cas a homo in front of everyone,” Sam says in that fast paced kid way.

“What?! It wasn’t like that! I wouldn’t do that!” Dean says defensively.

...Except he kind of did do that.

“Who’s Gabriel?” Dean grumbles.

“Cas’ cousin.” Sam looks at Dean with his baby face, looking all forlorn, and the rolling of guilt in Dean’s stomach thickens. “Sammy, I swear to you, I didn’t mean to say anything like that, but Dad was giving me the stink eye when Cas hugged me and I-“

“Ugh, I knew dad was behind this,” Sam says with a cringe.

Dean, ever the peacekeeper between his father and his brother, replies with, “Give him a break, he’s from a different time, y'know?”

Sam frowns. “So is Uncle Bobby. In fact, Uncle Bobby is like 20 years older than dad and he’s not a jerk about these things.”

Dean stops to think about that because the kid has a point. Dean makes a decision and looks at Sam. “I’ll talk to Cas first thing on Monday. I’ll apologize.”

Sam nods in approval. “Good.”

For the first time since the night of the game, Dean feels a flutter of something good in his stomach when he thinks about Cas.

This is good. He would apologize to Cas, Cas wouldn’t hate him, and they could go back to the way it was before. And if Cas wanted to keep flirting with him - that would be ok too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was only like 500 words and then I started editing and now it’s 1500+ Sigh.
> 
> I have a feeling the last chapter is going to be even longer.
> 
> Buckle in.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apologies are hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, as per usual, I’m incapable of writing a short fic - I’m looking at 3 more chapters. Sorry to people who wanted something short and sweet but hooray for people that are digging it. (Nayna - I hope I’m doing you prompt justice!)
> 
> Thank you to @Mishamigo_Sam who beta’d this chapter.

  
The first day back at school was a whirlwind of information and finding classrooms, as usual. Dean found people treating him as though he had gone away on a trip instead of ignoring everyone all break.

His goal for the day was to apologize to Castiel, but he hadn’t caught a glimpse of the guy all morning.

At lunch, Dean searched the cafeteria for black hair and blue eyes amongst the artsy and nerdy crowd Cas usually hung out with. A fiery red head weating a Jyn Erso t-shirt suddenly stood in front of Dean, with her hands on her hips and a glare on her face. "What do you want, Winchester?”

Dean was taken aback by her tone. Was it narcissistic of him to be confused that this person didn’t like him? Yeah, probably.

Dean unconsciously took a step back from her. “I... Uh, have you seen Cas today?”

Dean vaguely recognizes the girl as Charlie - a girl Sam used to have a crush on when he started going to IT club. She glares at him some more. "Why don’t you ask your friend, Gordon?”

What does he have to do with anything? “Gordon?”

Charlie huffs in disbelief. “Yeah, your bestie said some pretty shitty things to Cas this morning.”

“Gordon’s not my... wait, what did he say?” Ugh, Gordon was such a dick bag. Dean dislikes people talking on his behalf in general, even more so when it's an asshole like Gordon.

“I don’t know - the same old homophobic crap you jock guys spout," Charlie replied impatiently. "I warned Cas not to join the team,” she mentions as an afterthought.

“I wouldn’t...”

'But you did' the small voice in his head whispers. Dean sighs. “I was looking for Cas so I could apologize.”

She looks at him cautiously, and after a moment, Dean can see her eyes soften just a minuscule amount. “Cas and Gordon were sent to Principal Mills' office.”

Dean sighs in relief. “Thank you.”

As he turned to leave, the red head grabs his elbow in a constricting grip. “Don't you ever hurt him again, you hear me Winchester?”

Dean isn’t interested in Cas THAT way, but he’s not prepared to correct Charlie at this time. “I- I won’t.”

She lets him go with a final glare and a nod.

Dean decides he likes Charlie. Anyone who's that protective of her friends deserves some respect. Especially since Dean is used to hanging out with the type of girl that would sell out her best friend to get with whatever guy they were lusting over that week.

Dean just leaves his food tray at the first free table he sees and runs down to Principal Mills' office.

As luck would have it, the principal’s office door opens and Cas walks out. Dean is so happy to see the guy, even though he isn’t entirely sure why. “Cas!” he calls out.

Cas turns around and he’s sporting a massive bruise on the side of his face.

“Holy shit Cas, did Gordon do that to you?” When Dean steps closer to Cas, the other boy flinches away.

Cas squints at Dean with a searching expression and then shakes his head in disappointment. He turns around to walk away without a word.

Ok ouch, that hurts. Their interactions have always been fun and carefree, but getting the cold shoulder from Cas stings more than Dean is willing to admit to himself.

“Cas, I’m sorry for what I said," he tries.

Cas turns to face Dean with a glare. “What?”

Dean takes a deep breath. “After the game, I didn’t mean it. I don’t even know why I said it... or pushed you... I just...You just... and I didn’t mean... Ugh Cas, can we go back to the way things were before...”

A flash of surprise goes through Cas’ expression, but then he frowns again. “Before what Dean? Before you purposefully humiliated and pushed me away in front of our whole team?”

Dean looks down at his feet. “I didn’t mean-“

“I know what you meant. I know who I am, Dean, and I’m not apologizing for who I am." Cas takes a deep breathe, presumably to calm himself. "I do apologize, however, if my comments made you uncomfortable. That wasn't my intention. I just thought...” Cas makes eye contact with Dean and holds it.

Dean hears himself whisper, “You thought what?”

Cas seems to shake himself out of his thoughts and looks away. “It doesn’t matter. I’m quitting the football team, it was stupid of me to even join.”

No. Dean doesn’t want that. Cas is great! Not only as a person, but as a player. The team is the strongest its been in years... “Cas, I’m sorry.”

  
Cas’ eyes snap to Dean’s. “You’re sorry? Your message was loud and clear this morning, Dean!” Cas growls.

“What?” Dean is so confused right now.

“Gordon said ‘stay away from Dean’ just before he punched me!”

“Holy shit, Cas I had no idea he was going to do that! I haven’t even spoken to him since the game two weeks ago." Dean was going to murder Gordon.

Cas gives Dean the same suspicious look Charlie had given him not 5 minutes earlier. “What about what you said and did after the game?” Cas asks cautiously.

“That...” Dean sighs again because he’s going to have to be honest with Cas, isn't he? Ugh. Feelings. "I really appreciated what you said about me, but my dad... he’s... He’s old fashioned and when I saw him come into the locker rooms and you had your arm around me... I panicked," he finishes lamely.

Cas crosses his arms and rolls his eyes. "What? You thought your dad would think you’d 'catch' gay?”

Dean takes a cautionary step towards Cas, and this time Cas doesn’t flinch. "You say that as a joke but you’ve obviously never been around an old school marine,” Dean says, wanting Cas to smile even a tiny bit.

Cas looks Dean in the eyes, searching for a lie. Finally, after what seems like hours of Cas studying Dean, he nods. “That must be hard to live with," he says sympathetically.

Dean shrugs because yeah, it is, but, “It is what it is.”

Cas isn’t glaring at him anymore, but he’s still not smiling. "I’m still pissed at you.”

Dean thinks about what Sam always says to their dad about how saying sorry isn’t enough and actions speaking louder than words. “Ok, that’s fair. Let me... let me make it up to you?”

Cas is starting to look uncomfortable as he asks, “How?”

Shit, Dean has no idea. They don’t really make I’m-Sorry-I-Acted-Like-A-Homophobic-Asshole cakes.

Dean sees movement from the corner of his eye and manages to catch a flick of red hair round the corner of the hallway. No doubt Charlie checking that Dean was actually apologizing. Charlie’s Rogue One shirt suddenly gives Dean an idea. “Star Wars marathon! They’re showing the original series at the Laneway Cinema!” Everyone likes Star Wars, right?

Cas looks around at the empty hallway. “You're asking me to go to the movies with you?” he asks with a raised eyebrow.

Dean feels his cheeks flush. “Uh, yeah?” Dean thinks he sees a blush form on Cas’ cheeks and the thought makes Dean feel a bit strange.

“I’m already supposed to go with Charlie," Cas says flatly, looking everywhere but Dean.

That makes sense. Charlie’s pretty hot and Cas is bisexual and... handsome and stuff, so it would make sense if they had something going on. “Yeah, no, it was a stupid idea.” Dean starts backing away because he’s suddenly really embarrassed and... a bit jealous? He’s not entirely sure of who though, which is worrying.

“Wait, Dean...” Cas takes another deep breath. “I don’t forgive you... yet. What you said was very hurtful, especially because I thought we were friends.”

“We are-“ Dean interrupts.

“Regardless,” Cas continues, “you can come watch the movies with Charlie and I... but I can’t promise she’ll be nice to you.”

Dean doesn’t doubt that for a second.

Dean writes down his cell number on a ripped piece of paper and hands it to Cas. “Here's my number. I’ll pay, ok? For both you and Charlie.”

Castiel takes the piece of paper carefully and looks back up at Dean with an unsure expression, but then he nods and turns to walk away.

Dean sees Cas round the corner in the hallway and then hears a commotion; presumably of Cas bumping into Charlie.

Dean smiles; he feels lighter. There was definitely some happiness there too.

Cas is giving him a chance to show he’s not a dick.

But there was also some disappointment mixed in because not once had Cas flirted with Dean. It was stupid, really, especially considering how much Dean complained about or dismissed it before. Cas’ flirting was fun, though.

People flirted with him all the time; it came with the quarterback territory. But Castiel had a way of flirting that made Dean feel good about himself. His stomach suddenly felt really warm, which Dean credits to not eating, even though on some level he knows it has nothing to do with that.

The bell rings, signaling the end of lunch, and Dean realizes he’s been standing in the same spot outside Principal Mills' office, thinking about Cas.

He looks around, clears his throat, and heads to his next class.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby has some words for the Winchesters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gotta earn that explicit rating, y’all!
> 
> Chapter beta’d by @mishamigo_sam ❤️

Dean is making dinner and Sam is doing his homework Monday night when Bobby walks in with a face like thunder.

John isn’t due home for another hour or so, and Bobby knows that, so Dean is confused as to why he has the same face he uses when he’s about to tell John off.

“Sam, I need to talk to Dean for a moment," Bobby practically growls.

Sam looks up, confused, but picks up his books and starts heading upstairs with a questioning look at Dean.

Dean shrugs because he hasn’t done anything. Unless... Oh crap.

“What’s this crap I’ve heard about you and the team giving Cas a hard time?” Bobby asks with his arms crossed.

“That’s not what-“

“It better not be what happened, boy. I know your daddy can be a jerk sometimes, but I would’ve hoped I taught you better than to go around calling people names.” Bobby takes off his cap and scratches his head, looking more irritated than Dean has seen him since before John stopped drinking.

Dean turns off the stove and holds his arms out placatingly. “Ok, first, I didn’t call him any names. I did say something stupid and I pushed him away harder than I meant to, but I felt really shitty about it right after and ever since!”

Bobby puts his cap back on. “So why didn’t you apologize, if you felt so bad?" The last three words were heavily accentuated with sarcasm.

“I did, today at lunch.”

Bobby narrows his eyes. “Why’d it take you 2 weeks?”

Dean huffs, "Because... I suck, ok? And... Sam found out.” Dean sits down at the dining table, defeated because this explanation makes him sound like a jerk.

Bobby’s disappointment is palpable and Dean can’t stand looking at him any longer.

Bobby sighs and sits next to Dean. “Dean, you don’t actually believe there’s something wrong with Cas, right?”

Dean looks up at Bobby with actual disbelief. "No, of course not! I like Cas. Dad saw Cas slap my butt and then he came in just as Cas had his arm around me and... I don’t know, Bobby. Dads angry face... it’s terrifying sometimes.”

Bobby nods. “Your daddy’s just thinking that he’s always right about stuff he doesn’t bother to know about. I’ll give him a talking to when he gets home.” Surprisingly, that makes Dean feel better. If anyone is going to make John behave, it’ll be Bobby.

Bobby looks like he wants to say something else, and for a moment Dean thinks he won't, but then Bobby asks, “So you weren’t in on what Gordon did this morning?”

“Of course not! Geez, Bobby. What Gordon did was really shitty.” Honestly, Dean is a little hurt that Bobby would think he could do that.

Bobby stands up, and at least he doesn’t have his furious face on anymore. “I’m glad you recognize that Cas being gay doesn’t affect the fact he’s a good kid.”

“Cas is bi, not gay. He's going out with Charlie from school," Dean says, unsure why he’s bringing up Charlie when Bobby won’t care.

Bobby’s eyebrows dart up. “Charlie? The red headed girl who’s always bugging me to sign forms for her clubs?”

Ok, for some reason, Bobby does care. “Yeah, that sounds like her.”

Bobby looks confused for a moment. "Are you sure they’re dating?”

“Pretty sure?” Dean is thoroughly confused by Bobby’s interest in Cas and Charlie dating. He's also confused as to why it bugs him so much too, but add Bobby into the mix? Nope.

He looks like he wants to say something else, but instead he starts heading for the door, grumbling, “I can’t keep up with all you kids.”

Dean walks behind Bobby, seeing him out. “Who told you, anyway?”

“Jody," Bobby says distractedly.

“Oh, Jody huh?” Dean wiggles his eyebrows.

“Shut it boy, I’m still mad at you,” the old man grouses.

Dean huffs “Yup, that’s definitely the theme for today.”

Sam comes down the stairs casually, as if he wasn’t listening to the whole conversation. “Are you guys done? I’m pretty hungry.”

Bobby rolls his eyes. “Don’t pretend you weren’t listening, boy. Make sure you keep this idjit in line when your daddy starts getting into his head.”

“Yessir.” Sam salutes.

“I’m right here, guys.”

“So you won’t have an excuse to not do the decent thing next time," Bobby says in that slightly mocking tone he gets sometimes.

Dean rolls his eyes and heads back to the kitchen to start plating dinner.

“Staying for dinner, Bobby?” Dean hears Sam ask.

“Nah, I’ll come back a bit later to give your daddy a talking to.” Bobby ruffles Sam’s hair as he lets himself out and Sam makes a face because he thinks he’s too old for hair ruffling.

“You didn’t tell me you apologized to Cas," Sam says as he sits back down at the table.

Dean focuses on arranging their food on the plates. “Uh, yeah.”

“Well?”

“Well what?”

“What happened? What did he say?” Sam asks, exasperation evident in his tone.

“Oh. That he doesn’t forgive me. But I told him I’d make it up to him, so we’re going to the Star Wars movie marathon on Saturday.”

Sam has a bemused expression. “So you apologized and then asked him out?”

Dean’s heart starts beating faster. "What? No. Ok, I know what it sounds like, but... he has a girlfriend.”

“Yeah, that’s another thing, Dean. I don’t think he and Charlie are going out," Sam says, digging into his dinner ravenously.

“I’m pretty sure they are. She's coming to the marathon; they were originally going to go together anyway.” Dean shrugs.

Sam looks even more bewildered as he puts his fork down. “Wait, so let me get this straight." He steeples his hands in front of his face. "You apologized, he said he didn’t forgive you, you then asked him out but he told you he was going on a date. So you, what? Invited yourself along?”

Ok, put that way, Dean sounds like a crazy person, but it’s actually not that different from what really happened. “Yes to everything except the end bit. He invited me after he mentioned he and Charlie were going together.”

Sam rummages through his wallet and takes out a twenty dollar bill. "I bet you twenty bucks Cas and Charlie aren’t dating.”

Pfft, what does Sam know? “You’re on.”

On one hand, for some reason Dean would feel better if Castiel and Charlie weren’t going out. And on the other hand, he’s still not sure which one he’s jealous of.

The thought is concerning.

****

It’s Friday night and Dean is watching the new Star Trek show on Netflix instead of attending Bela Talbots party.

Everyone kept asking him during the week if he was going and he kept giving them vague responses. Bela is hot but she throws shitty parties.

Benny asked Dean if he wanted to hang out on Saturday, but Dean wasn't sure what to reply because Cas never messaged him. He’s feeling pretty down about it, actually. He saw Cas a few times during the week and smiled or waved as he usually would, and Cas would politely nod at him. He didn't even crack a smile, let alone be his usual flirty self.

It's become extremely frustrating how much Cas’ indifference is affecting Dean.

And Saturday is supposed to be his apology... thing, and he’s not sure if Cas even wants him to be there.

Dean’s phone beeps, but he doesn’t bother to look at it, thinking it’s probably someone from the party asking where he is, or Benny with a question mark about tomorrow.

Dean decides to have a shower instead. Partly because he feels funky from the hot day and the anti climatic week in general, and partly because he’s a bit horned up.

Not going to any parties for the last three weeks and therefore not hooking up with anyone for three weeks has left him a little... backed up.

And what better time to take of things than when Sam is staying at a friend’s house and John is working late again?

Dean tries to not think about how often John has been working late recently. Dean was half expecting John to walk out when Bobby had a go at him on Monday, but apparently John accepted what Bobby said and even promised to try not to be a jerk. Dean hasn’t smelt the usual tell tale signs that he’s drinking again either. The other possibility of why John has been ‘working late’ is too weird to think about - especially when Dean’s about to go into the shower for a little self love.

A few minutes later and Dean’s under the amazing water pressure that relieves some of the knots in his neck and back.

Not thinking about anything in particular, he feels himself starting to harden, as if his body knows exactly why it's having a shower when no one’s home.

Dean starts slow; he doesn’t want to rush this when he so rarely gets to make as much noise as he wants. It’s not like he hasn’t touched himself in the last three weeks - he’s a teenager - of course he has, nearly every night. But it’s always stifling noises, all sweaty under the covers, and then ruining the afterglow with having to get up and clean himself off or wake up the following day with his sheets stuck to his skin.

When the friction becomes a little too uncomfortable, he reaches for the bottle of lube he leaves in the bathroom. He laughs a little at himself when he remembers Sam asking him why it was there and Dean had told him it was cream to wash his balls. The horrified look on his brother’s face alone was worth it, but it had also ensured no one would touch the bottle.

As soon as lube is added to the equation, Dean starts sifting through his mind for good jerking fodder.

Hmm, boobs are always good. The jiggle that goes through them when met with a nice thrust... Dean has seen A LOT of boobs since becoming quarterback for the Hunters. That jacket is like an immediate shot of lust to most girls at the school and Dean had his fill when he first started to get the attention.

But in the last few months, he'd slowed down considerably. Partly because he doesn’t want a girlfriend telling him what to do and partly because he’s already done things with most of the girls he knows. He would feel bad for his actions, but those same girls are lusting over some other guy the next day (sometimes even the same night).

He starts to get soft and let’s out a curse because he didn’t mean to start thinking about stupid stuff. Ok... boobs... boobs in cheerleading outfits... Ok, that’s not bad. Boobs in skimpy football gear. Dean starts to imagine being out on the field, dry humping the hell out of one of the cheerleaders, except she’s wearing a tight football uniform. Ok, this is a weird fantasy, but Dean decides to see where it goes.

He feels himself growing thicker. In the fantasy, he’s rubbing himself on the girls leg as she’s frantically rubbing down on his thigh.

The friction feels so good and Dean starts moaning louder than he would usually let himself. The sound echoes back and forth from the bathroom walls.

The girl grabs his ass to get him to thrust harder against her, so Dean picks up speed, and his breathing starts getting heavier.

Dean looks at the girls face for the first time in his fantasy. She has beautiful blue eyes, just like... hhhhhnnngggg.

Dean paints the wall with his spend and his knees want to buckle. He holds onto the wall as he breathes roughly through the aftershocks.

Once his senses come back to him, he frowns. “What the fuck just happened?” he asks the mess dripping down the shower wall.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath and confusion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s so many mistakes in this one until my beta @mishamigo_Sam gets her grammar hammer into it.
> 
> Buts it’s 12:30am here at the moment and we’re so very close to finishing.

Dean has been sitting on the edge of his bed for about half an hour just staring at the blank wall in his room.

He knows he needs to stay calm but a freak out is simmering under his skin. He just has to think this through... it wasnt Cas. The fantasy girl just had eyes LIKE Cas - that doesn’t mean anything, the dude has pretty eyes, so what?

Dean frowns, is thinking that Cas has pretty eyes, wrong? His phone beeps and he grabs it like if it’s going to answer all the questions rolling around in his head.

Three messages from Benny asking if he’s going to the party and five from an unsaved number

19:43 Message received from : Hi Dean, it’s Castiel. I don’t know if you were serious about joining us tomorrow but if you are, we’re meeting at the Laneway Cinema at 7pm - A New Hope starts at 7:30pm.

19:45 Message received from : Ps ur butt looked hot today

Dean’s heart skips a beat thinking that maybe Cas was reverting back to his flirty ways even though it was a hell of a time to do that considering his weird ass shower jerk.

19:46 Message Received : That wasn’t me. I’m sorry if that made you uncomfortable

Dean Sighs.

19:50 Message Received : Judchkfs

19:51 Message Received : Apologies. My soon to be ex friends are horrible people.

Without really thinking about it, Dean saves the number and types out a message.

20:21 Message Sent : I’ll be there Cas. I promised I would make it up to you and I will.

Dean blinks at the messages a few times. The first thing that strikes Dean is how formal Cas is in comparison to normal, the second is that Dean is emotionally tired from the roller coaster of the last hour.

Does he even still want to go to the marathon?... instinct says yes but what if... what if... 

What if the reason Dean likes Cas flirting with him is because... because...

Ugh why are there so many roadblocks in his head? He thinks he knows what might be happening but he just can’t seem to take that step in his head. 

Another beep from his phone and Dean’s stomach flutters a little. He opens the msssage with a frown at his own body’s reactions.

20:23 Message received Ok, we’ll see you tomorrow

Dean’s stomach dips because that must mean Cas is with Charlie right now. They probably hang out every weekend... they probably have a regular sex night. 

Dean shakes those thoughts away because if he really is planning on going tomorrow - he doesn’t need any more embarrassing thoughts about the people he’ll be hanging out with.

Dean is startled from his thoughts by a sound down stairs, probably dad coming home.

Dean’s still wearing a towel around his waist so he puts on some boxers with the intention of asking dad if he wants some dinner, when he hears John talking to someone... a female someone.

Dean goes into stealth mode and turns off his light as he listens with his door slightly ajar at the conversation going down stairs.

“Don’t worry, Sammy is at a friend’s place and Dean is always at some party on Friday’s, it’s just us.” John’s voice is a soft purr that makes Dean feel a bit nauseous because who wants to hear their dad’s sex voice?

There’s a giggle and then two sets footsteps coming up the stairs. Dean closes his door quietly and steps back into his room, dreading the possibility of hearing anything else.

Before anything like that happens, Dean dives for his bed and puts on the headphones attached to his old stereo and plays Zeppelin III loud enough to drown out any sex noises but not loud enough that it’ll be heard from outside his room.

Despite all odds, Dean falls asleep physically and mentally exhausted.

****  
Dean wakes from a nightmare where he was drowning in a sea of linguini only to realise his headphone cable had tied around him during the night.

It’s eleven in the morning and the night before seems like an age ago. So what if Cas’ eyes are pretty? Guys can have pretty eyes, Dean’s been told most of his life that he’s got pretty eyes too, doesn’t make anyone gay.

The thing with John was gross though, Dean can only hope that his dad has enough sense to get rid of the floozy before Sam got home.

Dean’s still grossed out by his dad getting laid but at least he’s not drunk off his ass forgetting he has two sons to supposedly provide for.

His phone beeps and Dean’s stomach does that stupid flutter thing again.

11:34 Message Received Charlie can’t make it for a New hope, I’m still going to go but you can come for empire strikes back if you want.

11:35 Message Sent  
I’m not missing a new hope, Cas .

11:36 Message Received  
Considering the circumstances, I’m obliged to point out it would mean just you and I for a new hope.

11:37 Message Sent to  
I know. I look forward to it. See you at 7 :)

11:39 Message Received Oh. Ok, see you then.

If he lets himself think about it... whatever ‘it’ may be, he’s going to drive himself crazy. So he seeks out His brother for video games and food.

Sam doesn’t mention anything weird so at least John was discreet. Even if Sam had seen or heard anything, he spends most of the day talking about Jess, so either way it makes Dean happy that his little brother is happy and it makes the concerning thoughts about Cas take a back seat in his brain.

*****

Waiting at the cinema at three past seven and Dean is FREAKING out - what if actually seeing Cas is the final nail in the coffin of... whatever the hell is happening.

Dean is two seconds away from making up an excuse and messshjnv Cas, when he sees the guy in question walking up to him in the tightest pair of pants Dean has ever seen a dude wear.

“Uh Hi.” Don’t look at his junk, we’re not looking at his junk, we’re not interested in that. We’re here to hang and maybe make a new friend.

“Hello, Dean.” Cas kind of smiles at Dean, that’s a start I guess.

Dean nervously smiles back “What happened to ‘captain’?”

Castiel’s eyebrows dart up “We’re not on the field?”

Welp, that didn’t kick start a conversation.

Dean clears his throat and tries again “So should I go buy the tickets?”

Cas reaches into his pocket and pulls out three marathon tickets “Oh I already did.”

“Oh I mean thought I was meant-“

Cas sighs and leads Dean to one of the benches just outside the arcade “Dean, you really don’t have to do this. I get you didn’t mean to make fun of the gay kid and now you feel bad but I’ve thought about it a lot this week and I forgive you ok? No need to pretend you like me.” Cas says the last sentence really softly and it breaks Dean’s heart to think that people have pretended to be Cas’ friends.

Dean decides to with honesty... well... as honest as he can be “But... I do like you. The reason I feel so bad is because I like you... and to be honest I kinda just wanted to hang out with you. No insult to Charlie, but I’m kind of glad we get to just hang out by ourselves for a bit.”

Dean looks up at And Cas has a pretty pink blush dusting his cheeks. “Um, and if you wanted to continue how we used to be, that’s ok too.”

Cas is quiet for a moment and then uncertainly asks “The flirting?”

Dean shrugs.

Cas has the most confused facial expressions “You want me to flirt with you?”

“I mean if you want...” 

Cas still looks uncertain “Will... will you flirt back?”

Moment of truth... “I-“ Dean starts his sentence but can’t seem to finish it.

Cas sighs “Dean, I’m really confused about what’s happening here.”

Dean knows exactly how Cas feels because he’s so confused with his own brain at the moment “I know... I’m sorry, I don’t mean it as an insult to Charlie or anything.”

Cas frown deepens “What does Charlie have to do with anything?”

Dean squints at Cas “Well, I think your girlfriend might mind if you’re flirting with a dude.”

“My....?” Cas’ eyes widens and he then bursts out in laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is definitely not abandoned - I’ve had an unexpected market to prepare for and AHBLXMAS3 is this weekend so the last (super long) chapter won’t be up until next week. 
> 
> Sorry all, but it IS coming! <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I like you?”
> 
> Cas’ eyes narrow “Was that a question?”
> 
> Dean shrugs “I don’t know?”

Dean is starting to get nervous.

Cas has been laughing uncontrollably for three minutes now and Dean doesn’t know what to do. He had to stop himself watching how Cas got laugh lines around his eyes, how Cas had a really adorably gummy laugh and how his eyes get all squinty.

After another full minute of Cas trying to control himself he finally tries to speak between giggles “I’m sorry Dean, if you knew how gay Charlie is, you’d be laughing this much too.”

Wait... what? “Gay?” Dean asks stupidly.

Castiel nods while trying to force composure “Completely.” He looks up at Dean and tilts his head to the side with sly smile on his face “Wait, did you think you were going to crash our “hot” date?” Cas uses rabbit ears and Dean tries to not find it adorable.

“No...” Dean thinks about Sam’s similar reaction to Cas and Charlie “...maybe?”

Dean’s answer takes Cas aback because his face loses all traces of laughter and turns pensive instead “Dean, What’s going on?” He finally says.

Ok Winchester, this is it, you can either laugh this off as just messing with him or you can say that little forbidden thought you’ve had possibly since you met this guy “...I think... I uh.... the thing is...” Dean ventures to look Cas in the face and is met with the most adorably confused face he’s ever seen “I like you?”

Cas’ eyes narrow “Was that a question?”

Dean shrugs “I don’t know?”

“Dean, stop answering in questions.” Cas deadpans.

“Sorry, sorry” Dean holds up his hands as if surrendering.

“What makes you think you like me?” Cas asks carefully after a pause.

Dean couldn’t exactly tell the guy he tugged the salami thinking of blue eyes. So he blurts out the first thing that pops into his head “Um.., just I don’t know... Maybe I kind of enjoyed your flirting?”

Cas’ eyes somehow get squintier “but people flirt with you all the time...”

Dean shrugs “Yeah, I guess so, but normally it doesn’t really affect me.”

“So... you... like both guys and girls?” Cas asks carefully.

Dean shrugs again noncommitally 

Castiel looks conflicted and Dean wishes they were back to Cas laughing again.

Finally after what seems like an age, Castiel sighs “Do you remember the first time I flirted with you?”

Dean has thought about the day that Cas showed up to football tryouts repeatedly. Out of nowhere, a guy that Dean had never really paid much attention to was winking at him and flirting up a storm. That wasn’t why Castiel got a spot on the team of course but it subconsciously had become something Dean looked forward to every practice. “Yeah, I remember.” Dean felt his skin warm with the admission.

“I actually didn’t intend to flirt with you.” Cas looks away as if remembering the moment.

The words threaten to hurt Dean but he decides to pay attention to the rest before he lets any thoughts form.

“but my words got so tangled up when I talked to you and then I saw you blush after whatever flirtatious thing I accidentally said to you and it gave me a bit of a thrill because I mean...” Cas waves his hand in a general up and down motion towards Dean.

“What?” Dean looks down at himself.

Cas groans and wipes his hand down his face “Don’t make me say it, Dean.”

Dean had an inkling he knew what Cas was trying to say but he desperately wanted Cas to flirt with him again “Say what Cas?” Dean asked innocently.

Cas rolled his eyes “everyone knows Dean Winchester is hot.” He drawled... and then added “but straight?”

Dean is suddenly fidgeting because he doesn’t know whether that’s accurate or just something he wishes was accurate.

Dean breathes in to respond but instead he blurts out “I’ve never kissed a guy... so I wouldn’t know?”

“Would you like to?” Comes Cas’ reply almost too quickly.

Even though his throat is dry Dean starts to nod slowly, his eyes never leaving Cas’ bright blue ones.

Cas swallows audibly and turns away “The movie’s about to start, we should head in?” He asks shyly.

Dean continues to nod as he follows Cas into the darkened cinema

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Walker Stalker in OZ has passed (I was a vendor and it was a rough weekend with a tough lead up) which means I can finish this story (hopefully today) my summary has it at about Two more chapters after this, thanks to anyone who is still interested and a double thank you to people who have left comments <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean closes his eyes and breathes in the scent of Cas for a moment longer because he’s weak like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tags have been updated so definitely check those out. We’re in the homestretch with only one chapter to go after this one! (For reals this time 

Dean and Cas sit down in the back, which could be because it’s just Cas’ preference or it could be that they really are going to make out. Dean is still unsure which he would prefer when Cas finally sits.

Dean is nervous as hell but not with fear, more like his stomach is rolling and his body has heated up in anticipation of the possible makeout. 

He sits down slowly, careful to not touch Cas in case he’s read the situation all wrong.

The ‘A new hope’ scrolling titles start and Dean can’t even enjoy them because no matter how hot his own body feels, he can feel the line of heat coming from Cas next to him.

Dean turns to face Cas to ask if he wants a drink from the snack bar but the second he turns, Cas presses their lips together and Dean is lost to sensation.

Cas is strong and passionate.

The kiss itself is something else, Dean has been with a few girls who were really passionate but were still passive, like they wanted Dean to take the lead. 

With Cas it was a fevered battle on both their parts which ratches up the hotness factor triple fold. 

Ok, so maybe not completely straight thinks Dean after hearing himself moan as Cas explores his mouth. It should be a thought that scares him but he’s heard his mind voice say so many similar things since He met Cas.

Cas’ hand rests on Dean’s neck as he encourages Dean to get closer. And who is Dean to say no to that? Granted Dean doesn’t know where to put either of his hands but eventually settles into the makeout enough to softly rub Cas’ leg.

The kissing starts to slow down which Dean is thankful for considering he may have felt himself start to harden in his jeans. Kissing is one thing but... anything below the waist is crossing a line, right? Some would say kissing is crossing a line too, Dean supposes.

When they break apart, Dean can barely see Cas’ darkened pupils in the dim light of the cinema but he can definitely hear Cas’ out of breath gasps even over his own laboured breathing.

Once he has his breath back Dean whispers “Um, well that was really hot.”

A deep chuckle reaches Dean’s ears as Cas whispers “That it was.”

Dean tries to focus on the movie to not drive himself crazy with the thought that he just wants to continue kissing Cas.

They were up to the bit with the trash compactor...Christ, how long were they kissing for?!

Dean is focusing hard on the big screen but he can’t even hear any of the dialogue over his own pulse. He finally snaps “So, I think we should try that again just to make su-“

Dean doesn’t even finish his sentence before Cas smashes his lips against Dean’s again.

This second time is reaching fever pitch all too fast and Dean nearly passes out when he feels Cas pull the armrest between them up and away so he can half straddle Dean.

Dean is REALLY enjoying the hell out of the moment - the way Cas is softly rubbing up Dean’s neck and hair is really turning Dean on. 

What’s the protocol here? How far are they going to go in the back row of a cinema? How far is too far? Is there a too far? Is it already too far?

“Cas.” He manages to croak out between fevered kisses.

Cas backs off straight away and is looking at Dean intently “Sorry, is this too much?” 

Dean smiles because Cas is just so freaking nice. “No, I just - this is all new.” Dean doesn’t let Cas stop straddling him by placing his own hands firmly on Cas’ hips.

Dean looks down at his lap to hopefully clue Cas in of how his body is reacting.

As soon as Cas notices the obvious bulge in Dean’s pants, his hips do little aborted thrusts as if all he wants to do is wrap himself around Dean and dry hump the life out of him. Cas smiles and catches Dean’s eye “Oh... well, I think you definitely have your answer of whether you like guys as well.”

There’s a record scratch in Dean’s head and he hears his own nervous laughter “yeah.”

That’s a revelation and a half. Dean realises he’s been at war with himself for a fairly long time about the issue but to hear it from someone else’s mouth, even a beautiful plump, spit slick mouth like Cas’, is starting to terrify Dean. 

Dean starts to feel claustrophobic.

Does this change who he is? Will people talk about him behind his back like they do with Cas? Oh god, his dad! That guy had fire and brimstone is his eyes when Cas had merely hugged Dean for too long.

Dean feels the panic rise in him like ice water and a pressure is building up behind his rib cage that is making every breath seem precious. Cas must notice because he immediately sits in his own chair.

“Dean? Are you ok?” Dean hears the worry in Cas’ voice but he can’t bring himself to respond, so he takes the cowardly way out and gets up, walks out of the cinema as fast as he can without running.

The cool air outside soothes Dean’s nerves a little but he stilll has a huge pressure in his chest that threatens an anxiety attack. 

He knows he has to go back in and talk to Cas but his body is rebelling. It’s trying to preserve what’s left of the lie that is Dean Winchester : straight guy, Dean muses.

“Dean?”

Dean’s heart nearly shatters at just how small and vulnerable Cas sounds, Dean did that. All of this is Dean’s fault.

He takes a deep breath and turns to face Cas. “I’m sorry...” is all Dean can manage.

Cas’ head tilts to the side with a small but reassuring smile “It’s ok Dean, I know at first, things can seem a bit overwhelming but-“

“No...” Dean cuts Cas off before he can continue trying to make this into anything but a negative “I’m sorry about all of this, I shouldn’t have come tonight and I shouldn’t have encouraged the flirting.”

Cas’ face falls “Dean, I’m sorry if I came on too strong back there, I-“

“It’s fine.” Dean interrupts again because he can’t take much more of Cas apologising for something that isn’t even remotely his fault “it’s forgotten, I’m not... I’m not that person.” Dean adds.

Cas‘ face contorts to confusion “But you... you clearly are?”

Dean stands up a bit straighter because if he’s going to lie, he might as well get used to looking confident about it, right? “No... I was confused.” Ok not as confident as he intended to sound “You... you’re really... confusing.”

Cas puts his hands in his pockets and now looks angry more than anything “So, this is my fault?” He asks.

“No... I’m... I’m to blame here.” Dean takes a step forward and instantly regrets it because he gets the downward wind carrying Cas’ cologne.

“So, what?” Cas continues “Back there, was just your little gay experiment?”

“No...” Dean sighs and then shrugs “I don’t know.”

Cas stares at Dean incredulously “Unbelievable. You know I actually thought you were a good guy? And you kissed me back - and if I’m not mistaken you were halfway through asking to kiss me the second time!”

A couple of girls that Dean recognises from Sam’s year walk by and momentarily look at Dean and Cas before looking away and continue talking amongst themselves. It’s enough to send ice into Dean’s veins again “Shhh Cas, just keep it down.”

Castiel’s eyes narrow dangerously “Are you fucking serious? Is that what this is about? You’re scared of what some Yahoos from a red neck town will think?” 

“I have to live in this red neck town Cas!” Dean whisper shouts back.

“So do I? What’s your point?” Cas challenges.

Dean wipes his hand down his face because this conversation is getting harder to keep up by the second “You obviously have no idea what John Winchester is capable of.” Dean blurts out.

Cas’ eyes soften for some reason and Dean thinks for a moment Cas is going to pity him but the expression the blue eyes portray is nothing short of support “Dean, you don’t have to deny yourself like this.” Cas carefully reaches out and rests his hand on Dean’s shoulder, pulling Dean in gently. Their foreheads touch and they are both very still as if any small sound could break the momentary peace.

Dean revels in the small amount of contact. His body is just as confused as his brain is, part of him wants to run and not think about Cas or any other out of the norm thoughts he’s ever had. The other part wants to throw himself at Cas and kiss him and be brave and accept what is happening and deal with whatever is thrown at him.

But Dean isn’t brave.

John Winchester is terrifying and Dean can’t risk being kicked out of his house and have his dad pick on Sam. He can’t risk Sam being picked on because his older brother likes dudes and he’s not strong enough to lose his friends because they’ll see him differently if they ever found out.

Dean closes his eyes and breathes in the scent of Cas for a moment longer because he’s weak like that.

With all the strength he has left in his broken heart he looks Cas straight in the eye and says “I’m not like you.”

Cas’ face freezes and his expression turns into something cold “Go home, Dean.”

It’s the last time Dean speaks to Cas in seven years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I PROMISE there’s a happy ending. Dean just needs to grow into himself before he can be a good partner for Cas.


End file.
